it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
