i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
