I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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