apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize