She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
