Me. At least after what I've been through.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize