Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
