I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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