I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
