Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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