The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
