The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
