I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
