The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
