That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
