FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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