Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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