every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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