You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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