New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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