I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
