Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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