Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize