The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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