She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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