youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize