would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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