So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
