it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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