So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
