my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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