Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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