i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
