There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
