well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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