if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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