have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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