come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
