the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
