I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
