I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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