Dual....:-)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
