so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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