He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
