I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sponge bath it is.
I think I won the penis lottery.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
