and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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