i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
