just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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