Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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