Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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