You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize