Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
