it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
