I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
