You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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